Snake in Smashers' Escape
by Ike4ever
Summary: The smashers are kidnapped and brought to the real world. Now they have to learn how to survive. Without their amazing smash abilities and with men that use guns that can actually bring death. Simply rated T to be safe because of what I call mild violence.
1. Chapter 1

**So I made this story for my brother, who is a Snake fan, and I decided to share it just 'cuz. For Snake fans, this should be some good, clean, maybe a little violent, adventure. And for Snake I think it's safe to say that that's rare.**

 **enjoy!**

Snake pressed his ear against the wall, narrowing his eyes as he listened closely to the muffled voices coming from the hallway.  
"We got them all?"  
"Just the ones we want."  
"What about SS? He's famous."  
"Henry's taking care of him."  
Snake restrained himself from snorting. Obviously these kidnappers had underestimated his abilities because he was fairly certain Henry was the man lying, unconscious, by his feet. He scribbled a note on a piece of paper, planted a mine by the door, hid the paper under his pillow, and stepped back with a gun as a knock sounded.  
"Come on in," he said in his deep, raspy voice.  
The door opened and the mine exploded.  
"Thought you were smart, huh, Snake?" said a man, stepping out of the smoke. He had a forcefield all around him and a smooth, waxed mustache that made him look evil.  
Which he probably is, Snake thought. He swallowed and readied his gun, a bead of sweat sliding down the side of his face.  
"Not going to work." A beam of electricity shot out from the forcefield, enveloping Snake. Pain pulsed through his body until he dropped limply to the floor.

"Snake."  
Snake opened his eyes and sat up, grunting in pain. "They got you too, huh, Ike." He gingerly felt himself and found nothing broken, to his great relief.  
"Are you okay? We were wondering if you had any ideas for getting out of here," the burly mercenary replied.  
"You don't usually count on me," Snake answered, glancing around. Marth, Link, Lucas, Mario, and Donkey Kong were seated in the small metal 'cell' as well. There wasn't enough room to stand or do much of anything else besides sit.  
"After Marth couldn't think of an idea, we decided to wait for you." Ike gave a wry smile and Snake rolled his eyes.  
"I'm sure. Do we have any weapons?"  
"Took them all. Every single one," answered Link dully.  
"Then what plan do we need?" Snake responded, leaning back to rest his head against the metal wall. "We're toast."  
Everyone blinked at him and he blinked back. "What? I'm serious."  
"Well, Mr. Solid Snake," said Marth, frowning at him. "Maybe you would like to tell us where we are, and give us a suggestion of what happened to us."  
"I'm assuming a kidnapping," he answered, slipping into his best mode; in charge. "They didn't take everyone. Only the most famous." He smirked. "You should consider yourselves honored."  
Marth's glare deepened and Snake controlled himself with a wink. "They have forcefields, as far as I know. This place is going to be basically impossible to get out of without weapons. Anyone know where the door is?"  
Lucas crawled over to Ike and laid his head in the mercenary's lap. "It's over there," he murmured, shutting his eyes.  
The door was a single slit in the wall and Snake knew, just by looking, that it wouldn't be a good escape route.  
"I say we wait," said Marth. "When they open the door to get us out, maybe we can make a break for it."  
Ike shrugged. "Point remains we can't get out now."  
"We can still start planning now," growled Snake. "Anyone know where our weapons are?"  
"No," was the dull reply.  
Snake gave them all a dry look. "Anyone know why they only captured guys?"  
"The girls are in another area," answered Link.  
"Okay, so this complicates things. We can't leave them when we make our break for it."  
"We're all glad to see you have some heart," responded Marth calmly, straightening his tunic. He moved over to sit beside Snake and said quietly, "Think things through, I'd prefer to not expose the tyke to blood, if there's a fight."  
"Oh, we'll definitely fight-and kill," muttered Snake, smacking a fist into his other hand.  
Marth shoved his shoulder, frowning again. "I wish you would be serious."  
"Well, Marth, unfortunately you can't really put the possibility of Lucas getting a trauma attack ahead of our escape."  
"I certainly know that," Marth snapped. "But remember that your game involved bloodshed and murder and fighting people with no sympathy, but here it is different."  
"Fighting fair, being good sports," Snake responded. "I know, I know."  
Ike spoke. "Where do you assume they're taking us?"  
"I hope it's to my game," answered Snake, folding his arms. "Then you guys will be able to see that in order to survive, you have to fight without sympathy."  
"I already know that," Ike pointed out, giving him a smirk.  
Snake smirked back and there was a thump and a grinding sound.  
All were instantly tense, including Lucas, who woke up.  
"Hey, Lucas," said Snake, quietly. "You can't pulse this ship can you?"  
"I don't have pulse," Lucas answered, sounding like he might cry. "I only have fire and freeze and…"  
"Your electrical ball," interrupted Mario. "Shoot that at the door."  
"Okay," said Lucas.  
He squinted, held up his hands, and gave a grunt. Absolutely nothing happened and there was cricket silence as everyone stared at the blonde boy. His eyes filled with tears and he appeared to try again, all to no effect.  
"Wherever we are, apparently it takes away Lucas' powers," said Ike soberly.  
The door opened and all stared at the men that appeared.  
"You want to come quickly and quietly or the hard way?" asked one.  
"We'll come quickly and quietly," Marth responded for all of them instantly.  
Each smasher was handcuffed and led out of the room into a little group.  
"Hey! It's-a Peach!" crowed Mario, cheerfully trying to wave with both hands, since they were cuffed together.  
She turned and started towards him, but was pushed back roughly into the group of the other girls.  
"Hey!" Mario exclaimed, turning red in the face. "You leave her alone!"  
He was grabbed by the arm and shoved forward.  
"Follow that guard."  
Mario angrily obeyed, his face still red, and the other smashers followed.  
Snake was last in line on purpose and quietly said, "What did you learn, Zelda?"  
"They took Samus, Sheik, Peach, and I. My magic doesn't work and neither does Sheik's or my teleporting skills."  
"Try them again. They might just not have worked on the ship."  
After a moment Zelda replied. "I just tried. Nothing."  
Snake snorted. "Blast."  
They were quiet as they continued on, but his gaze was taking in everything. The hallway was long and turned left and then right and right again and left and… Snake tried to tuck as much of that information away in his brain as possible. It might help later on.  
"Okay. Ike, Marth, and Link are in there."  
"You're separating us?" asked Marth.  
"Lucas in there."  
Lucas began sobbing and Snake watched as Ike's face turned purple and he abruptly kicked out, spun around, and knocked two guards to the ground. Snake's face lit up and he flipped over backwards and took out five guards with two kicks and three jabs. Looking up he realized the rest had been disposed of by Donkey Kong, Marth, Link, Sheik, and Samus.  
"We gotta get out of here!" ordered Zelda. "Come on guys."  
"We can't go back the way we came," Snake added. "This way."  
"This way," Link contradicted.  
"Up," Marth said.  
Snake glanced up at the vent in the ceiling. "I don't have my helicopter."  
"Get on Ike's back," Marth answered.  
Ike obediently hunched and waited as Snake leapt lightly up, jerked the vent out of place, and a chunk of stuffing fell onto his face.  
Coughing and choking Snake jumped to the ground, bent over double, as he tried to get the irritating substances from his eyes and mouth and nose.  
When he finally looked up, tears streaming down his face as his eyes continued to attempt to get the rest of the dust out of them, he realized that Ike was the only one remaining.  
"How am I going to get up?" Ike tossed at him, glaring.  
"I didn't suggest we go up in the first place," Snake answered shortly. "Marth, close the vent and get out of here with everyone else. Samus, you're in charge of Lucas. Sheik, make sure they're quiet. Link, don't be stupid and make sure Donkey Kong doesn't get you all killed."  
"Easy," snapped Link. Marth replaced the vent and Snake glanced at Ike.  
"We need to get out of these handcuffs, first off," said Ike, glancing at the guards.  
There were two shouts up ahead and Snake bent, yanked a belt off a guard, and dashed off down the hall, Ike behind them.  
It wasn't exactly great that two of the slowest smashers were trying to run for their lives and get out of handcuffs while they did so.  
Ike, just ahead of Snake, suddenly dove into a room and Snake somersaulted in after him. The guard's voices faded as they ran past.  
Snake stood, looked around, and closed the door.  
"Empty room. Let's rest."  
"Keys," Ike insisted.  
"I'm working on it!" Snake snapped. He found the keys and unlocked Ike's handcuffs. The mercenary returned the favor and both were free.  
"How do we get down?" asked Ike.  
Snake followed his gaze to the window and blanched. Dashing over he stared, down, down, down, to a road far below.  
"We're toast," he said.  
"We need stairs," said Ike.  
"You're crazy! We need an elevator. We'll be less likely to be stopped."  
"You think most of the guards take the stairs? No one we'll be on the stairs and we'll be safer there!"  
"Keep it down," Snake ordered, glaring. "You're right. We'll take the stairs."  
Ike blinked. It wasn't like Snake to give up so soon. Snake grinned. "The outside stairs." He motioned to the fire escape. "This isn't like a base of any sort. It's a large building in the middle of many other buildings."  
"Which game do you think it is?"  
"Who knows. A city, maybe Lucas'," responded Snake. "Although," he mused, "Did you notice that Lucas looked more like you. I mean, more real. Same with Mario."  
"They must have changed us," Ike snapped. "Let's go."  
Snake kicked the window and it shattered with a tinkle. He grabbed the edge, realized his hands and gloves were getting cut, and gritted his teeth as he maneuvered to the left and let go, dropping to the fire escape. He gazed at his bloody gloves with annoyance, wiping them on his suit, and stepped to the side as Ike dropped beside him with a crash.  
"I never said I was silent," Ike responded.  
"Well, prepare yourself!" Snake snapped back, using the mercenary's taunt.  
Sirens were sounding and Snake dashed down the stairs as fast as he could as two guards appeared at the broken window and pointed guns down at them.  
"We should have nabbed a gun from the passed out guards!" he growled, scolding himself.  
Ike made no answer. There was a ping and then another and then a whole bunch as the bullets ricocheted off the fire escape.  
"They got me," said Ike, with a hiss.  
Snake hesitated, glancing back at him as he saw red blood sliding down Ike's arm. A hot burning pain shot across his upper back as a bullet skimmed him. Snake gave Ike a wild look. "We have to jump!"  
"We're three stories from the ground!"  
Snake crouched and then sprang forward, leaping as far as he could. He grossly underestimated his power. Apparently the men had also decreased his jumping distance, because he hadn't gone as far as he usually did and he was falling faster than he ever had before in his life.  
With flailing arms he righted himself in midair and stretched his body full length. He just snagged the tree branch and, like the uneven bars in gymnastics, he spun all the way around, his already cut hands ripping open further, as he let go and went flying to land in a crouch on the grass. Standing up he whirled to see where Ike was and if his friend was dead. His friend had jumped over the side of the fire escape, grabbed the railing at the bottom, and then dropped to the ground, his knees buckling.  
"Run!" shouted Snake.

 **Well, there's the first chapter. It's not really my cup of tea, Ike not being the hero and all, but it's always cool to write, right? R &R if you liked or if you have any constructive criticism. Thx!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter two! Enjoy all!**

Ike stumbled backwards and against a car. Snake dashed up to him. The guns were gone and Snake opened the car door. Inside sat a young man, who looked up at him with wide eyes.

"You mind if we borrow this car?" asked Snake.

"You can't have my car!" shouted the man.

"Don't make me do this the hard way," Snake growled in a low voice.

The man blanched and Snake jerked open the back door. "Ike, get in. Now."

Ike pulled himself in and Snake jumped into the passenger seat. "Look, bud, we're being chased by kidnappers. Okay? I need you to take us far away and make sure they can't chase us."

The man obediently shifted the car into drive and they sped away from the curb.

"You hurt, Ike?"

"Shot, and hurt my legs," groaned Ike. "How do you extract a bullet? It's in my arm and didn't go through like the usual bullets. What was it made of?"

Snake stared dully at his hands. "Rather, I would say what are we made of. I was never this vulnerable."

"Where are you guys from?" asked the man. "I'm Tom by the way."

Snake grunted. "Why are you stopping? They could be chasing us!"

Tom turned to squint at him. "The light up ahead is red. That means stop. Have you never driven? Are you from a foreign country? You speak English pretty good."

"I'm from America," answered Snake. "Where are we now?"

"You're in America," the man answered. "Arizona." He was looking at them peculiarly. "Y-you guys… Why were you being kidnapped?"

"We thought it was because we were famous," Ike explained. He was lying on his back on all three seats.

A beep sounded in the car as the light turned green and they sped forward.

"Seatbelt," said Tom.

"What?" asked Snake.

"Seatbelt!"

"Look!" Snake snapped. "We're new here! Got it? We've never been to this Arizona place in America!"

"You have to put on seat belts everywhere in America!" exclaimed Tom, turning down a ramp. The car was speeding up and they were now on a wide row with many stripes and other cars speeding by them.

"I guess I just never had to before," Snake responded. Everything seemed strange.

"Snake," came Ike's voice. "What about Marth? And Samus? And Peach? Mario."

"They'll be fine," snapped Snake. "Marth's in charge."

"We'll go back and get them tomorrow," said Ike. "Right now I need medical attention." His voice was laced with pain and Snake turned back to look at him. "Bandage yourself with your headband."

"Snake! Ike!" Tom was shouting. "Like from that Nintendo game? Super Smash Bros!"

"Yes!" Snake exclaimed. "You know it?"

"Of course I do! You guys are crazy? Why are you dressing up like Snake and Ike and then pretending you're being kidnapped."

Snake, watching him, realized he was turning red, and decided that was probably a bad thing.

"Just get us somewhere safe," Snake responded. "Then we'll try to explain. Besides," he added, narrowing his eyes. "You can't argue with blood and a bullet wound."

Tom looked anxious and confused.

It was ten minutes later that he pulled up a ramp and into a large closed room with a large door. "Okay. We're in the garage so no one can see us. I'll try to get you guys upstairs to my room. My mom's out at the mall, and my dad's probably watching television. Don't worry. Just don't say anything, and we'll get in. And don't drip blood on the carpet."

Tom led them into the house.

The buzz of conversation coming from the living room caused Snake to freeze.

"There's lots of people in here!" he hissed.

Ike grabbed up a broom leaning against the wall and readied it.

"That you, Tom?" called an old man.

"Yeah!" Tom shouted back. "It's just the television," he hissed to Snake and Ike, who lowered the broom and glanced at Snake. Snake tried to pretend he wasn't embarrassed and both smashers followed Tom upstairs.

Inside his room Tom shut the door. "Okay. Let's tend to your blood, and then we'll get this straightened out."

"Sure," agreed Snake, stalking into the bathroom. "But I wouldn't say 'straightened out' is the word you'll be using once we've explained."

"Can you just get this bullet out!" Ike finally exploded, panting from his sudden outburst. Snake appeared in the doorway. "C'mere."

Ike followed and Snake ordered him to remove his shirt. Ike again complied and Snake grabbed up the soap and splashed water on Ike's wounds, feeling the sting of the soap on his own hands as well. Ike sucked in breath through his teeth and Snake clenched his jaw as he fingered the wound. "We need to get the bullet out."

"We need to pry it out." Ike was gritting his teeth and he pushed Snake's hand away. "Get me a knife or something."

Snake, walking out into Tom's room, began wrapping his hands and jerked his head at Ike. "Can you get him a knife?"

Tom searched in his drawers and pulled out a jackknife. Ike handed it to Snake, who shook his head. "I've never done anything like that before!"

"If it wasn't in a bad spot, I'd do it myself," the mercenary responded, sitting down on the bed. He shut his eyes, bit his lip, and 'prepared himself'

Snake shook his head, gripped the knife firmly in his hand, and finally took the plunge, jabbing the knife into Ike's arm, in the hole where the bullet was, squinting as he felt the blade hit something hard. The bullet.

He maneuvered the blade to the left, jabbed deeper, and pressed backwards. The blade caught the bullet and he pulled up. A moment later the bullet appeared and he grabbed it, hurling it away, as he stepped back.

Tears stood in the mercenary's eyes and he grabbed his shoulder and squeezed. "I'll be fine," he choked, curling up on the bed.

Tom was watching, his face pale. "Snake?" he said tentatively.

"What?" Snake was breathing hard, realizing he had been holding his breath through the 'operation'.

"What happened to you guys?"

"I was in my room in the Smash mansion and the next thing I know I'm knocked out with electricity by a man in a mustache and when I wake up I'm in a room with a few other guys from Smash. My theory is they took the most famous ones to hold us for ransom so Master Hand will have to pay a lot of money-"

"Maybe they wanted to show you guys off," suggested Tom, knitting his eyebrows. "After all, people would pay loads of money to see real live smashers. Did they get the girls?"

"Don't interrupt," Snake snapped. "Yes, they got the girls too. They handcuffed us, took us down, prepared to separate us, and Ike flipped when they were going to put Lucas alone. We all decided it was as good a time as any to escape and did so. Marth is leading the others somewhere around in the vents, and…"

"You guys really do look real," said Tom. "You think you changed into real looking people after you were kidnapped."

Snake gazed at him in confusion. "What do you mean real? We always were real."

"You were fake," Tom responded. He shrugged. "At least you didn't know it. Point is, you guys don't have super abilities anymore. You can get seriously wounded getting shot and you don't have your weapons and you can't jump or counter bullets with your swords, or plant mines in cement, or… anything like that."

Snake blinked and dropped his head into his hands. "Anything else you need to tell us, genius?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. We have to get you guys back to Smash and we don't know how. They obviously brought you in with some portal, right?"

"Maybe. But what is Smash then? Another planet?"

"Not at all. It's a virtual reality for you guys. You know, we might also have to take Ike to the hospital. The problem is, you guys just appeared, meaning you don't have social security numbers or anything else like that. It means the police will have to get involved. Which means publicity will be involved, which means your kidnappers, who might be rich and powerful, or might be just a bunch of video game geeks with handcuffs, a large mansion, and guns, will find out where you guys are." Tom took a deep breath. "Any ideas?"

"I'm not an expert on Arizona!" Snake snapped. "I'm an expert at killing and fighting, and there will be plenty of that when we're done here."

"You're not allowed to kill anyone!" Tom exclaimed. "You can't! That's against the law and even if you are trying to keep yourself from being kidnapped… Look. No one is going to believe that you guys came from Smash. I only half believe it myself."

"Where do you think we came from?" Snake hissed.

"I…" Tom shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know. That gun wound was very real, so it's not some sort of movie thing. Plus, you guys have the exact costumes of the smashers, good quality, and… I can't really explain that either. I don't know. Now, what do you plan to do?"

Snake glanced at Ike, who's eyes were open, staring blankly at him.

"What are you looking at?" he muttered.

"You," answered Ike. "We can't just leave them."

"I wasn't planning to," Snake answered, standing. "Tomorrow we're going back. We'll need different clothes. We have to try to find them."

That night was restless. Neither the smashers nor Tom slept next morning Tom lent them clothes. Naturally Ike didn't fit in any of the clothes and Tom finally let him keep his pants and shirt, and just take off his armor and headband. "We'll get you shoes at the store before we continue," he said.

Snake, outfitted in a comfortable three quarter sleeve gray shirt and pants that didn't quite allow the freest of movements, realized Tom's shoes wouldn't fit him either.

"Hey," said Tom. "I've got an idea. My dad has huge feet. Both of you could probably wear his shoes."

He returned with two different pairs of dress shoes and shrugged sheepishly. "It's the only kind he's really got that are closed toed."

In the car Snake's brain worked furiously as they drove back the way they'd come. He had taken Tom's jackknife secretly from him. Tom had refused to give it to him because he had said Snake might not have been able to control himself. Snake didn't care. He wasn't about to run smack into danger with no weapons and a completely different sense of his own physical abilities.

Ike, stiff in the arm, was in the backseat and Snake was next to him, trying to encourage the mercenary to help him plan.

"You know I don't do good with that," Ike answered, scowling. "You lead and I follow. I'm not a planner or a maker of plans. I'm a follower who fights for his friends."

"Great, just great!" Snake replied. "I like being in charge, but I still need ideas!"

"Well you should've brought Marth with us!"

"Why? You think you'd be better at leading a whole bunch of crazy smashers through air vents and out to safety?"

"Guys!" exclaimed Tom, swerving violently and screeching to a halt by a parking meter. "Look!"

A young woman with wavy blonde hair was walking beside a blue haired young man. They were facing away from the three, but Snake knew them, despite their different clothes.

"Peach and Marth!"

He kicked open the car door and raced after them.

 **R &R if you have any questions/suggestions. But be aware that, though I appreciate suggestions for the future, having already written this story, I may or may not change what you ask me to. And now I feel bad so I'm going to end this AN.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the third chapter! Yahoo.**

Snake was right behind him and Tom was right behind him, after hastily sliding a couple quarters into the meter.

"Hey!" Ike called.

Marth spun around, his hands instantly in a defensive position. Then he was streaking towards them and grabbed Ike in a gorilla hug. "Ike! Snake! Thank goodness!"

"You better thank goodness," answered Snake. "Without goodness we'd be dead right about now."

Marth motioned Peach over and instantly began pressing them for information. "Who is that?"

"Tom."

"Who is he?"

"Someone helping us. You guys need a place to go?"

"Yes. How did you escape?"

"Suffice it to say it wasn't easy," Snake responded. "How'd you get clothes?"

"A small amount of begging with Lucas," he answered, giving a weak smile.

"Where is everyone else?" Snake asked.

"Well," answered Marth, rolling his eyes. "We didn't think it would be a good idea to walk down the street leading a gorilla."

"Ah," said Snake. "Where are they now?"

"Hiding out behind an abandoned store. Let's go there now."

Snake followed.

It was a small hike in the hot sun.

"We were just looking for free food," Peach explained. "After the first store said they couldn't offer anything to us, even though we hadn't eaten in one day, Zelda and Samus went off one way and Marth and I went off another. Mario and Link are holding down Donkey Kong."

"Oh, I bet he's a fun one when he's hungry," Snake snorted.

"Not really," came Link's voice, as they rounded the corner and saw him sitting on the gorilla's neck. "It's pretty hard." Snake noticed the blonde elf was red in the face and sweating. He grinned and Link glared at him. "Oh, you wanna take a turn?"

"Is Lucas okay?" asked Ike.

"I'm fine, Ike," said Lucas, walking up to hug him around the leg. He hugged Snake next and returned to sit by a small tree. "I'm hot."

"There is a young man named Tom who is going to take us all to his house," said Marth.

"What?" exclaimed Tom behind them, his mouth dropping open.

"Isn't that what you said, Snake?" Marth asked, confused.

"It's not exactly what I said," answered Snake. "It's what I meant, though. Why not, Tom?"

"You guys are crazy! I don't have room for all of you in my room, and my parents would be bound to find out if a gorilla was living with me! They'd be fit to be tied!"

"This gorilla poses problems," said Ike. "What say we stick him in a cage?"

"Ike, that's the best idea I've ever heard!" shouted Link, leaping off. "He's dumber now, so I think he'll be fine with a pile of bananas."

"Okay," said Snake. "We have to find a place to stay, find a place for Donkey, buy him some bananas, and then figure out how on earth we're going to get back home."

"I agree," stated Marth calmly. He turned to Tom. "Do you have… any suggestions of where we could go?"

Tom was rubbing his chin, staring at Marth. Finally he nodded. "Yeah. I'm going to call a bunch of my video game geek friends. You guys might have to split up in where you each are going to stay, but you can all get together at my friend Patricia's house to plan. For right now, I'll just call some people real quick. And you guys go get some drinks or something. Here's twenty bucks. Buy a whole thing of water bottles from in that store. You look dehydrated."

"Are you saying that because we haven't drunk any water since yesterday?" asked Link sarcastically.

It was two hours later that three other cars pulled up outside of the building. Tom had already moved his car and the smashers were all sitting there, happy and refreshed, the pile of mutilated plastic water bottles beside them, littering the ground.

"It really is!" exclaimed a girl, jumping out of her pink truck. "No way! Marth!"

Marth turned a bright pink and scooted closer to Ike, who scooted closer to Snake, who bumped him angrily with his elbow.

"Marth, I am totally your biggest fan," said the girl, blushing and smiling. "I'm Patricia."

"Pleased to meet you I'm sure," said Marth.

"You don't know how I've dreamed…!"

"Can we just figure this out quickly!" interrupted Snake, annoyed. Despite his rudeness, Marth tossed him a grateful glance.

"Right," said Tom. "Thanks for coming guys. You understand why we have a big dilemma on our hands."

"You bet," said a few other young people, hoping out of their own cars and walking up.

Samus and Zelda, having arrived a half hour before, instantly began talking.

"Peach, Sheik, and us two will go with Patricia, no sweat," said Samus.

"One guy could be with Tom in his room, maybe, but Marth, Ike, and Mario can be with you, sir with the weird hair, and Snake, Link, and Lucas can be with you with the dark skin." Zelda was plainly pleased with her planning skills. "Who wants to take Donkey Kong?"

"My house is farther out," said Patricia. "I'll take him with the girls and we can tie him up or something and give him plenty of food and water."

"He needs shade too," said Sheik. "He's not meant to be out in the sun."

"I don't think any of us are," Snake added, wiping his face and flicking the sweat onto the ground. "Let's get out of here."

"Great," said Tom. "You guys can ask to use your host's phones if you need to contact anyone, like me or… you know."

"I'll take care of Lucas, Ike," Link assured the mercenary.

"No thanks. He's coming with me," Ike answered bluntly, folding his arms.

"Mario, you can be with us," Snake said. "And Lucas can go with Ike."

"Sure." Mario shrugged and walked over to the medium sized gray van.

"Well," said the dark-skinned young man, raking his fingers through his afro. "I'm Jim. Nice to meet you all. A big fan." He flashed a white-toothed smile. "Let's go."

Jim blasted air conditioning the whole way to his house and Snake relaxed enough to fall asleep.

"We're here!" announced Jim cheerfully.

Snake was up in an instant, banged his head on the roof of the car, and gave everyone a death stare as he climbed out of the car.

"This house is huge!" exclaimed Link. "You're rich, huh?"

"No. Not at all," Jim responded. "I live up there by that potted plant. Other people live in the other houses."

"Oh," said Link, blushing.

"People," said Mario quietly. "Is this-a safe?"

"Yeah," Jim answered, confidently striding towards the stairs. "Don't worry about a thing. Brian's got the harder job. He's got two guys with purple and blue hair." He cackled and Link smirked.

They trudged up the flights of stairs and Jim unlocked the door to his condo. "Well here we are. It's not super spacious, but I'm sure you won't complain about all sleeping in the same room on the floor."

"Air conditioning and a carpet?" exclaimed Link. "Luxury!"

Snake smirked. "I'm starved. I'll make the lunch if you want."

"I'm starved too!" Link exclaimed. "And you actually ate dinner last night. What say I make my famous spicy curry?"

"No way!" Mario and Snake both thundered.

Link chuckled. "Fine."

"Uh, guys." Jim was tapping his foot.

All turned. "This is my house and y'all are my guests, so why don't you just mind your manners, don't forget to ask before you do things, don't be stupid, and I'll make you some pasta, okay?"

"Pasta?" asked Mario. "Delicious! Thank you, Jim. I will try to keep these hooligans under control." He cast Link and Snake a superior glance, winked at Jim, and sat down on the couch, lying down, and shutting his eyes, his cap pulled down over his head.

The pasta was delicious, and despite Snake's hoping he would have enough energy to figure out a plan, he realized he didn't and fell asleep as soon as the meal was finished. He slept through the night and so did everyone else.

The next morning all gathered together and Jim gave out clothes to the smashers who didn't have any.

"Snake, you're okay, though your shoes are a little weird."

Snake rolled his eyes. "I can walk, run, and jump in them. They're fine. When you guys are done I'll be by the car."

Snake was practicing his flips when the others arrived.

"That's pretty cool!" exclaimed Jim, impressed.

"No it's not!" retorted Snake. "I used to be able to do many flips in a row, plus tons of kicks etcetera! Something happened."

"It's just because you aren't in your virtual world anymore," Jim answered, shrugging. "We're going to meet at Patricia's house."

Patricia's house was small, but cozy. She lived with her grandmother away from the suburbs, but had thankfully been able to get the old woman to go shopping.

"Don't worry. She'll be gone for hours. Trust me."

"Sure," said Jim, bobbing his head, but rolling his eyes.

"Well, she'll certainly be surprised if she comes in and sees all of us sitting here," smirked Samus.

"You said it," answered Ike, sitting down on the couch. It groaned under his weight.

"Watch yourself or you'll break it," murmured Snake.

Ike gave him a sharp glance and Snake grinned and sat down next to him. The couch groaned further.

"Careful!" exclaimed Patricia, glaring at the two. "Honestly! You act like regular boys."

Ike and Snake turned to look at each other and then turned back to look at her and Snake caught Sheik laughing behind Patricia's shoulder.

Snake pushed himself up, and leapt over couch. Resting his arms on the back he nodded at Marth.

"Go ahead, prince. Tell us all what brilliant idea you came up with while we slept."

Marth glared at him and folded his arms. "I slept right along with all of you. You think I wasn't just as exhausted as you?"

"I thought that Snake and Sheik, being the two slyest of all of us," began Mario, "should go sneak back into the house and try to find out how they got us here."

"Good idea!" exclaimed Ike.

Snake frowned. "Marth's pretty sly."

"Not as sneaky," Marth answered, smiling. "Mario, you are a genius. I was guessing they got us in with a portal, but the only way we can find out is by spying."

"Admit it, Snake," said Samus. "You love to spy."

Snake admitted it to himself, but he wasn't prepared to admit it aloud after Samus told him to. "What exactly will our weapons be?" he asked.

"You won't have any," broke in Tom. "That would be too dangerous. You might kill someone and that's the last thing we want to have happen."

"As if they give a single thought to our lives!" Snake retorted, growing angry. "As if they were trying to only hit Ike's arm in order to wound him so he couldn't escape. No, Tom, they were trying to kill him!"

"No one can kill Ike," said Lucas loyally.

Ike ruffled his hair. "I beg to differ. But I think Snake is right and his request is reasonable. He and Sheik should at least have a defense."

"Then Snake shouldn't go," said Tom. "I've played your game, dude," he added, frowning. "You're violent."

"You have to be to survive."

"Not in the real world," Tom retorted.

"I'm fine going as we are," broke in Sheik. She flipped her bangs out of her eyes. "I know I can handle it. Can you Snake?"

Snake frowned at her and his eyes sparked dangerously. "Well, there's only one way to find out, now isn't there."

 **...**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I got another one up now. Yahoo! This chapter picks up the pace I think.**

* * *

Snake crouched behind the restaurant across the street from the building he and Ike had narrowly escaped from the day before. It was barely dark outside and Tom had said that was just when everyone was relaxing after dinner. The perfect time to sneak in.

Snake didn't think much about the suggestion, but he had admitted that he knew less about earth than Tom. Both were dressed in their regular clothes, but wearing gloves and hats.

"Sheik, I don't care what Tom said," muttered Snake, pulling out the jackknife from his pocket that he had swiped earlier.

Sheik glanced at it and her eyes glittered as she pulled a kitchen knife from inside her shirt. She gave a small smile and Snake nodded shortly, slipping the knife into his glove. "Let's go."

They crept around the back of the house and Snake stared. "They've got the windows on the two first floor barred."

"Then we have to get to the third floor."

"I know," he answered, jumping up and grabbing the bars. It was difficult to get up that high, but he managed, only breaking one lantern that was hanging on the wall for decoration.

"If they didn't hear that crash we should be good," hissed Sheik.

"If they heard that crash, they would have shot us both dead by now," he returned evenly, easing his way onto the narrow window ledge. "Any idea how to break this window?"

Sheik pressed her lips together and shook her head. "No."

Snake narrowed his eyes and pressed his face against it. "No one is in this room. It seems to be a storage sort of room… There! My missile launcher! My copter!"

"Snake, focus!" Sheik growled.

"Sheik, if I get that…" Snake's eyes were lit up.

A moment later the window was broken and both were inside the room.

"Let's go," insisted Sheik.

Snake ignored her, grabbing up his portable missile launcher. "They didn't break it. We're good." He grabbed his hand gun as well, hastily strapping his utility belt on.

"Snake, Tom's right on this. Earth is different from your game. You can't just kill people."

"I know. I'm just going to defend us."

"If we need it."

"If we need it," he assured her.

Together the two ventured out of the room and down the hall.

"People," Sheik mouthed.

Snake pressed his ear against the door, listening to the different voices. One rose above the rest. "We have to find them, no question! They'll wreak havoc and we need the money after we used it all for that portal."

Snake and Sheik exchanged glances.

"Yes, sir, we know. But they vanished without much of a trace. They couldn't have gone far though. They don't know their ways around… And who would help a bunch of crazy people?"

"Apparently someone," snapped the first voice. There was the sound of a gun being cocked.

"I want answers. Understand?"

"Yes, sir."

Snake made a dash for a closet and Sheik followed him, closing the door just as the one they had been eavesdropping behind opened.

It was dark and stuffy and Sheik was too close for comfort, but Snake wasn't going to complain.

"Are they gone?" she asked.

Snake listened and shook his head. "They're right outside the door with guns."

Sheik's eyes widened and Snake shot out a foot, kicking down the door. It collapsed on the three men in the hall and Snake, grabbing Sheik's hand, dashed out of the closet, barreling into the two other men and continuing down.

"You don't even know where you're going!" yelled Sheik above the piercing sound of sirens that rang through the building.

"Yes I do!" he contradicted. "I'm going away from the danger!"

"How do you know we're not running into other dangers?" Sheik asked. As if to prove her point, two men suddenly erupted from a room with machine guns. There was the sound of many reports and Snake dove to the ground, jerking Sheik with him, and army crawled through the blinding dust over to the two gunners, spinning around to knock them both down with his legs. He crouched, waiting as Sheik quickly knocked them out.

"Grab a machine gun and follow," he ordered.

"No," she said, glaring. "Lead on."

Snake did so with a quick frown. They were running along an outer hall now, the windows on their right side tinted and gritty, only showing that it was dark outside. Snake stopped short and he and Sheik listened. The sounds of footsteps, pounding down the hall towards them, came from behind and before.

"We're trapped," Sheik whispered. There was a door to the left and Snake jerked it open, only to find another closet.

"Hide in here," he ordered Sheik. "Jump out the window when you have the chance."

He shoved her in amidst a jumble of mechanical parts, tossed his grappling hook from inside his utility belt after her, and shut the door hastily. With a karate kick he smacked the window with his foot. It cracked under his shoe and he hurled his shoulder into it. With a crash the window glass fell out onto the ground below and Snake gritted his teeth as the shards cut through his shirt.

"Stop right there! It's Snake, guys!"

The first group of guards had appeared around the corner and Snake bent on one knee, pulling out his hand gun. It was so utterly tempting to shoot them right then and there, but he knew it would be a mistake. A full scale investigation would occur after he killed them and that would mean they'd discover Sheik. He couldn't let it happen.

"Don't shoot or you die!" ordered the guards behind him.

Snake dropped his gun and the next instant he felt a sharp pain in his back, like a needle in his skin. It released a stinging sensation and with an agonized cry Snake fell face forward on the ground; everything blackness.

* * *

 **Very good. We'll see when I get the next one up. XD**


	5. Chapter 5

**Last chapter! Thank you to those who followed this story! I hope this ending isn't disappointing or something.**

* * *

Snake blearily opened his eyes. He was handcuffed to the wall, his whole front side uncomfortably vulnerable. His ankles were cuffed as well. Strange wires were wrapped around the cuffs. Snake swallowed.  
"Awake I see," said a voice.  
Snake glanced up. It was the man with the mustache. The one who had kidnapped him.  
"Number one, you're not blind," Snake growled under his breath.  
The man gave a chuckle that had no mirth in it. "Yes. Very smart. Just like yourself. Now, Snake, I want to speak with you eye to eye. Man to man. You have information I want. I will get it out of you, it just depends how easy it will be. Will you make this hard? Or will you make this simple, for yourself and all your friends?"  
Snake's stomach turned over, but he betrayed no emotion. "Number two, you speak in riddles."  
"Does torture mean anything to you, Snake?" the man asked, standing up. "I know it does."  
"I'll tell you the information I want to tell you," Snake retorted.  
"Well, by the time I'm finished with you, you will have willingly told me all," he responded, smiling. "First question. Where is the girl who was with you? Where is Sheik?"  
"I'm surprised you recognized her without her mask," Snake answered lackadaisically. "She escaped, of course. If you're smart, you'd follow her."  
"She's an eel," the man responded. "Very slippery."  
Snake smirked, even though he still had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. "If you ask a question I should be able to ask one, right?"  
"Wrong," the man replied. "But shoot for the moon."  
"Why are we here?"  
"I'm surprised you haven't figured that out yet. Have you any idea how much money Nintendo will pay to have you back? A lot." He smirked. "Now for my next question. Where were you staying?"  
"At a friend's house."  
"Which friend?"  
"A man."  
"What was his name?"  
"Dick."  
There was a beep and Snake felt something course through his body. It left a river of pain and he sagged in the cuffs, gasping for breath.  
"Snake," said the man. "I have a lie detector on you. It's smarter than any acting skills you may possess."  
"That would be number three," gasped Snake, trying to clear his mind as the pain died away.  
"What is the address?"  
Snake decided it was plain ill luck that he had memorized the address. His attention to potentially useful details might prove very painful now. "I think I'll stay silent."  
"That won't be a good idea either," the man answered. "Now."  
He was holding a remote and his thumb hovered over a green button.  
Snake clenched his jaw and gritted his teeth, but nothing could stop the scream of pain the escaped his lips and echoed in the room. Again he hung limply in his bonds.  
"Are you sure you want to go through with this? Because I can do this all day? And you know, if you won't be responsive… Well, let's just say that I have a few men who will kidnap whoever I ask. I would say a child, about five to six. A girl, would be best. They always strike a weak spot with men."  
Snake's heart was pounding in his ears and he was painfully aware of the meaning of the man's words.  
"Can I…?" There was a roaring in his brain and it drowned out his huskily uttered words. With a groan his chin dropped onto his chest and a peaceful blackness enveloped his vision.  
The peaceful blackness lasted for two seconds as a brief pulse of pain jerked the smasher awake again.  
"Don't collapse on me," the man said. "I can't have that. I have a call, so if you'll excuse me, I'll leave you to think about what to do." The door closed, leaving Snake alone with his thoughts. They were all unpleasant.  
"What do I do?" he muttered. "Sheik needs to bring the other smashers. Or at least Ike and Marth and Link. I need help." He had never really needed help like this before. Not serious help. Not from the smashers. Now everything was switched around and strange and he was hopelessly trapped.  
His weapons and utility belt were at the opposite end of the room. But the jackknife he had stolen wasn't. It was in his glove.  
With his fingers aching from cramps, Snake finally grasped the knife and began the painstakingly slow task of cutting the wires. After the first wire was cut it was simple. Apparently the wires controlled the cuffs as well, because the one holding his right hand opened, allowing free movement of that whole arm. He hastily freed himself, dashed over to his weapons, and grabbed them up, again hiding his knife.  
He scanned the room and dashed to the door that the man had not gone out of. Pressing a button beside it he watched it open. An elevator. Perfect.  
Snake took it to the top floor and found this top floor had no roof. Instead it held a giant object that was covered with a heavy tarp. He glanced around and then ran towards it, lifting the tarp a little to reveal a machine of some sort underneath.  
"Freeze, Snake."  
Snake whirled around to see five guns all pointed directly at his heart. "So much for escaping," he muttered, as he slowly lifted his hands in the air.  
There was a thundering shout and one of the guards went crashing into two others, sending them careening to the ground. Ike had arrived in the nick of time.  
Right behind him came Marth and Link, waving metal bars like swords. The guards were quickly incapacitated.  
"Snake, how are you here?" exclaimed Marth.  
"I'm awesome," he growled. "I think this thing is how we get back."  
"Are you sure?" asked Link, as Marth and Ike dashed over to it.  
"No, because I'm not a mechanic. Why don't you try, Link?"  
"Why don't you just not pick a fight!" Link snapped, folding his arms. "I saved your life."  
"You helped save my life," Snake retorted. "And I saved my own life as well. Marth?"  
Marth straightened and nodded. "I think you're right. This is the portal of some sort."  
"So we just gotta get the other smashers and go through," said Link, shrugging.  
"Have you forgotten that they are not here?" asked Marth, glaring.  
"I'll go get them with Ike," Snake suggested.  
"I don't fancy staying here either," Link added.  
"As brave as I am," snapped Marth, "I'm not staying with gunmen alone. I need cover."  
"Let's just all scram," said Ike in his deep voice.  
"Back the way we came would kill us," pointed out Link.  
"So let's take the elevator," said Snake.  
"I…" Marth stopped. "All right."  
The ride was tense. Ike and Snake stood by the doors, the bars from Marth and Link in their hands. But they weren't stopped the whole way down. When the doors opened on the bottom floor they made a dash for the outside.  
"I don't think so," said the all too familiar voice of the man in charge, stepping in front of them. With the press of a button he was surrounded by a forcefield and Marth hit it with a sickening thud.  
Ike kept him from falling and Snake glanced around, suddenly dashing forward, leaping onto Ike's shoulders, and jumping up to grab one of the fluorescent lights. It broke with a tinkle and the room was plunged into darkness.  
Snake made for the left side of the room, where he had seen a window. Another crash as he leapt up and broke through it. The glass cut his arm and shoulder, but he was out, and by the sounds behind him, the others had followed.  
The sound of a gun tore the silence and a moment later the asphalt beneath Snake's feet exploded, hurling him backwards. He regained his feet with a backwards handspring, and crouched, eyes focused in horror on the man, who was pointing his apparently very powerful weapon at the other fleeing smashers.  
"Ike!"  
The mercenary grabbed up Link in one arm and Marth in the other, hurling them both into the side of a building. He turned back as the man pressed the trigger.  
Snake had had certain moments in his life where his heart stopped. That happened as soon as he had called Ike's name. While his heart began beating again, he was no longer breathing. Snake grabbed out his gun, aimed very briefly, and fired.  
Snake was the best of the best with guns. Everyone knew it. Still, Snake wasn't sure if his bullet could stop the missile headed for Ike. The explosion proved it could. Ike stumbled backwards and Snake reloaded and fired again.  
The man dropped his weapon with a cry―his hand bleeding. Snake ran forward and grabbed the man in a choke hold, bringing him close to his face. "If I was any meaner, you would be shot through the head right now," he hissed. Snake brought his fist down on the man's head terribly hard and the man sank to the ground.  
Marth ran up. "Did you kill him?"  
Snake glared at him. "No. But if I had been selfish, I definitely would have. Violently."  
"I thought as much," responded the prince. "Let's get the others."

It wasn't as hard the second time. For one, no one seemed to expect the smashers back, and they didn't expect them to climb up the back way with ropes either. But they did, Lucas sitting on Ike's shoulders, and Snake the last one. They had said goodbye to Tom, Jim, Patricia, and the others with some tears in the eyes of the girls, but none in the eyes of anyone else. After all, though they had been good friends, the smashers weren't regretting leaving. Earth, as far as they had seen, stunk.  
Donkey Kong was easy enough to get up. He didn't even use the ropes to reach the top.  
"All right," said Marth. He gave a weak smile. "I'll try to figure this out. Samus. Snake. I might need your help."  
It wasn't hard. A simple reading of the instructions on the dash board and the press of a button and…  
"Password!" shouted Samus.  
"It's a simple hacking process," said Snake off handedly.  
A moment later the machine was rumbling. Link grabbed the hatch and jerked it down, shutting it firmly.  
"I hope this works," said Lucas.  
"It will," reassured Ike, patting him on the head.  
Snake smirked. "Of course it will." There was a blinding light that was abruptly replaced by the soft glow of morning. "You can see the Smash Mansion from here," he added, grinning.

* * *

 **Tada and the end! Yahoo! I love finishing stories so much! Thanks for reading and please review! Oh, and I want to apologize for any grammar/spelling errors right now and I also want to add a disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters except for the human OCs that the smashers meet. Plus, I don't know if anyone could tell, but the Ike I was imagining in this story is the Ike from Sm4sh and everyone else is from Brawl. That doesn't change much if no one noticed, so... I'll stop talking (typing).**


End file.
